One Night Stand
by Isiri
Summary: Naruto drabbles and oneshots. Ch.5: Ah, the fun of a simple retrieval mission. Neiji, Tenten.
1. Greatest Failure

**Title:** Greatest Failure  
**Author:** Isiri  
**Rating:** T  
**Summary:** AU Future; "Her skin was pale, so, so pale. It reminded him of the moon. Her skin that had always been warm and coloured peach was now cold and grey. Like the moon." One Shot. NaruSaku.  
**Dedication:** To RavenScarlett-san, who drew the amazing picture that inspired this work.  
**A/N:** It's really, really depressing, I'm warning you all now. Seriously, there's a major character death. I cried writing it, so I'm hoping you'll all get the feelings I tried to convey. Once again, inspired by RavenScarlett-san. A link to her picture is on my profile. Thank you for giving me the inspiration I needed to write this.

**Disclaimer:** Naruto and all related characters and logos belong to Kishimoto-sensei.

* * *

Greatest Failure

* * *

Her skin was pale, so, so pale. It reminded him of the moon. Her skin that had always been warm and coloured peach was now cold and grey. Like the moon. 

Pushing the thought from his mind he brushed a stray strand of hair from her bloodied face. Scratches and cuts littered there, as well as along the rest of her open skin. Splashes of red coloured her entire body as if trying to help bring back that colour. that warmth which she seemed to be losing —seemed to have lost— back in to her.

He brushed another strand of pink hair from her drooping eyelids and vaguely realized his hand was trembling. But that wasn't important.

He watched silently as those lidded eyes, once a stunning emerald, but now nothing more then a hazed green, tried to focus on him, once, failed, again, failed once more, until finally they locked on to his red, feral ones.

A rush of emotions came over him; pain, regret, fear, anger— anger that she did that, something as _stupid_ as that. And for what?

_ For what?_

But he already knew. He already knew, and yet he still couldn't bring himself to say it, to believe it.

There were things that he wanted to say; _I'm sorry; You idiot!; How could you?; Why?!?_

"Why…" and he couldn't say it, couldn't finish it. But he had to because he needed to hear it, needed to hear her say it.

A foolish grin found its way to his face, yet some how he knew she could see the sorrow, the hurt, the _raw_ _pain_ that hid behind it.

He wished silently that she could see him as he had once been when they were still kids, before too long a use of the Kyuubi's power had tainted his eyes to the animalistic one's they were now. Before he had killed, been stained forever unclean, and life had still lead him— them, to be the naïve children they were.

"Sakura-chan, why did you do that?"

The tears fell before he even knew he was crying, mixing with the drying blood on both they're faces.

A strangled laugh bubbled through the fresh blood she was forced to choke out from breathing.

"Because, silly" and as she took that breath, her last breath, _he_ couldn't breath.

"I had to protect my precious person, and our future Hokage."

Then she was still. Eyes closed, lips drawn, and fresh wet tears trailing down her frozen cheeks even after she was gone. And with her, a part of him he knew he would never gain back.

Slowly he trailed his hands down her face, cupped it as he had so many nights in a row while they slept in his bed, and then bent down and kissed her for the last time.

Still crying he grabbed her body and pulled her to his chest and held her while he screamed. To the sky, to Heaven, to her, and for hours he just sat there, holding her to his chest with the littered bodies of their enemies surrounding him.

He held her, the only woman he had ever loved, and denied letting her go, until the sky clouded over and it started to rain. Then with gentle, careful movements he switched her to his back.

Standing up he started forward, back to his— _their_ home, eyes narrowed as he tried to control his anguish and his rage.

He wouldn't stop crying until he reached Konoha's towering gates.

Inside, his heart still continued to weep.

Overall, the ANBU mission was a success… But to Naruto, it felt like his greatest failure.

* * *

_ Hey God, I know I'm just a dot in this world, but have you forgotten about me?_

* * *

END**  
**

**AN:** Since I seem to write so many freakin' one-shots and drabbles, I figured why not just go with the flow and make my own little collection right here on This is the first installment with many more to come. Be warned, they really will very in size and pairings and everything in between. Hope you liked it. Please review and let me know what things worked for you and what didn't and why!

---

**Next:** _"Virgin"_


	2. Virgin

**Title:** Virgin  
**Series:** Naruto  
**Rated:** PG13 – for sexual themes (and, "They're about to have sex!" undertones).  
**Dedication:** La-chan. Remember when I wrote this for ya?  
**Summary:** "Never done it outside before, Naruto?" Blue eye's flashed red. "Nah, never really thought about it. You saying you have?" "But you've done it before, right?"  
**A/N:** Despite how it may seem, I've not been converted Laurel. NOT BEEN CONVERTED!!! Just want to share that.

**Disclaimer:** Naruto and all related characters and logos belong to Kishimoto Masashi.

* * *

Virgin

* * *

"This doesn't count!" 

Smirk. "Yes, it does."

Frown. "No, it doesn't."

"Heh, you're only saying that 'cause you're on the bottom."

Naruto barred his teeth and growled up at Sasuke. "Just because you tricked me and miraculously managed to somehow pin me on the ground, doesn't mean you won!"

Sasuke snorted. "I didn't trick you, you _tripped_."

Taking a couple minutes to struggle against the Uchiha's unforgiving grasp and heavy weight, Naruto finally gave in and let Sasuke continue to pin him.

"Fine, you win, bastard, now get the hell off me." Naruto grumbled, but Sasuke remained seated and seemed content to sit there all day.

Then suddenly the blond grinned mischievously and said, "Damn Sasuke, we're not old enough to do anything like that yet. Not to mention we don't even have our own room."

Sasuke, unfazed, leered at Naruto, eyes suddenly darker.

"Never done it outside before, Naruto?"

Blue eyes flashed red.

"Never really thought about it. You saying you have?"

"But you've done it before, right?"

"Nah, I'm a virgin."

At Sasuke's sudden choking sound, Naruto took his chance and before the Uchiha knew what had happened he was staring up at Naruto's triumphant face.

"But I don't mind losing it to you--

---as long as I'm on top."

* * *

END

**A/N:** XXD dies 

My gawd! dies again

Alrighty then! In other news, it seems kind of weird to me, I guess because I normally don't write m/m _anything_, but I still find it funny. Did you like it? I'd love to know what you thought worked and what didn't so please review and let me know!

**---**

**Next:**_"A Day in the Life (of Uchiha Sasuke)"_


	3. A Day in the Life of Uchiha Sasuke

**Title:** A Day in the Life  
**Series:** Naruto  
**Rated:** K+ – for implied naughtyness between two certain sound-nin.  
**Dedication:** Izzy-san, a friend of a friend. I wrote this a long time ago for her and just recently found it so I decided to post it up.  
**Summary:** His escapades in Sound, the traumatizing things waiting around the corner, and other fun things in a day in the life of Uchiha Sasuke.  
**A/N:** This is a crack!drabble. You've been warned.

* * *

A Day in the Life  
(of Uchiha Sasuke)

* * *

"I'm so smart, I'm so cool, Orochimaru-sama loves me, our love rules!!" 

Desperately trying to control the on coming, full-body shiver, Uchiha Sasuke backed up, turned around and walked as fast as he could away from the bathhouse.

It wasn't until he was on the other side of the underground complex that he let himself stop and breathe.

It was one thing to listen to Kabuto sing in the shower, another to hear him sing about his love for Orochimaru.

However, seeing Orochimaru smiling like a giddy school girl outside the door listening was something way worse all together.

* * *

END

**A/N:** I think it's amusing, but I'm not as happy with it as I could be. Probably 'cause it's old and was written in like, five seconds.

A special, "Thank you!!" goes out to everyone who's reviewed this. And 393 views! I expected like, nobody to read this, so it's really nice and makes me feel very happy and encouraged! (Have you read this, I wonder, Understar-san?)

On a side note, I won't guarantee anything, but feel free to leave a request for something in your reviews. I'll write most anything now a days, especially since right now I've been unusually inspired. Sorry for the long wait for an update!

---

**Next:**_"Science Lab"_


	4. Science Lab

**Title:** Science Lab  
**Author:** Isiri  
**Rating: **K  
**Summary:** Naruto + a Science Lab + a Bottle of Mercury. Oh my. Poor, poor, Sakura. NaruSaku Friendship.  
**Dedication: **La-chan, cause you is amazing and beta'd this thing for me, despite the mountains of homework you had.  
**A/N:** I wrote this on the second or so day of school in gr.10 while my science teacher started talking about Mercury while going over the lab safety rules. Then I thought about how funny it would be for Naruto to be in a science room and how amusing it would be to watch Sakura suffer as his partner. Then this was born.

**Disclaimer:** Naruto and all related characters and logos belong to Kishimoto-sensei.

* * *

Science Lab  


* * *

They were all lined up in a row in alphabetical order, not one glass container out of place. That was exactly the way she liked things: ordered, precise, neat, perfect. That was just the way she was. "Hey, Sakura-chan, look at this thing, isn't it cool? Every time I shake the glass the colour changes from red to brown and back again!" 

"Naruto, put that back right now!" A pale hand snapped out and grabbed the glass container, returning it back to its rightful alphabeticalized place. "And why don't you have your lab coat on? You know it's standard procedure to wear a lab coat and goggles when dealing with chemicals. So why are you still here, Naruto? Get your safety equipment _now!_"

"Alright, Sakura-chan!" Without another word Uzumaki Naruto ran to other side of the classroom, doing exactly as his lab partner had instructed. Haruno Sakura sighed. Nothing may ever change _her_ way of doing things, but as long as Naruto remained her science lab partner, she knew that nothing she did would ever be ordered or precise again. 'Why me?' she begged silently.

The only response she received was the return of her partner. It was official: the Gods hated her. "Stupid school, stupid science lab, stupid Gods," she mumbled into her hands.

"Hey, Sakura-chan, are you okay?" Turning to him, she nodded, and then her face took on a serious look. "Alright, let's get this stupid thing over and done with!" With that she continued copying down the procedure for the experiment the two had been assigned.

Two minutes later, Naruto decided it was too quiet. "What's this thing?"

Glancing up briefly from her paper, she answered, "Bottled carbon monoxide."

The boy twirled the bottle around with nimble fingers. "I don't get it, though. There's nothing in it, so how do you know?"

"I know because, firstly, if you actually look at the little label on the bottle, that's exactly what it says it is, and secondly, carbon monoxide is a gas--a clear gas--so of course you're not going to be able to see it. Now stop twirling it and put it down before you drop it."

"Oh, wow, this stuff's shiny! What is it, Sakura-chan?"

She sighed and put her pencil down before answering him. "Mercury, Naruto. Why don't you ever pay attention in science class?"

He shrugged. "It's boring."

Sakura could have killed him for using such simple logic. Slowly, she massaged her temples. "Well, I know science class isn't exactly the most exciting thing in the world (I mean, even I don't enjoy it all that much,) but still--" She looked back up at the blond and stopped, anything she was about to say wiped clean from her mind with shock.

"Naruto?"

"Yeah?"

"Why is the Mercury bottle empty?"

"Uh, hehe, funny thing you should mention that."

"Oh?" she cut him off. "Well now, did you by any chance, say, open the bottle, Naruto-kun?" The blond's face drained of all colour, turning a stark white. Sakura only ever added that suffix to the end of his name when she was really, really mad. "Did you? No, of course you didn't, because you and I both know that it's against the lab safety rules, right?"

"Um. . ."

"Just like I know that you didn't spill it on the floor because you know that it would scatter all throughout the classroom."

"Well, I--"

"Just like I know that you know that Mercury is a _poisonous _gas and that it _evaporates_ into the _air_ because you pay attention in class and are not a clumsy, irresponsible, brainless _idiot_. Right, Naruto-kun?"

By now the thirteen year-old was cowering in his seat. "I re-really didn't mean to--ah, that is, I mean, Sakura-chan, please p-put the beaker down. Y-you don't r-really want t-to hit me w-with that, r-right?"

Sakura's figure loomed over him, a fiery aura surrounding her entire body and an insanely strong killer intent rolling off of her in waves.

". . . Right . . .?"

"_**NAAAAAAAAARUTOOOOOO!!**_"

* * *

"I'm really, really, super, seriously sorry, Sakura-chan. It was an accident, I swear! I'll never, ever do it again!" Naruto swore to his crush from his seat next to her on the park bench. 

"I know you won't because you've gotten the both of us_ kicked out_ of science class. We're not aloud to enter the science lab _ever again_! You didn't just get yourself in trouble this time, oh no, you just _had_ to go and drag me down with you!"

After Sakura's scream the teacher had come rushing over and restrained her from killing Naruto, but once he finally managed to understand from her screams that Naruto had spilled mercury, the entire class was rushed out of the science lab, forced to wait in the school's multi-purpose room, spend another hour detained and then tested by freaky looking guys in white protective suits. After the men in white gave the O.K everyone was released and Sakura and Naruto were suspended for the rest of the day by the principle.

So now here they were, sitting alone together on the first bench Sakura spotted in the park a few blocks from school grounds; the petite girl being too afraid to go home and face her mom once she found out her only daughter was suspended, and the blond boy having no one to go home too at all and deciding he'd rather spend his time with his favorite female.

"It's okay, Sakura-chan, you can always take grade nine science again next year."

Sakura turned on him so fast that for a split second, Naruto was worried she might have gotten whiplash. "_We are the first students _ever,_ in the _history_ of Konoha High, to be _kicked out _of the grade nine science curriculum!_"

Blue eyes blinked once, twice; three more times before Naruto's face split into his infamous grin. "You're right! Isn't that the coolest? This means we're famous now! People will be talking about what happened for a hundred--no--a thousand years from now!"

The young girl stared at Naruto disbelievingly while he continued to sit there and grin at her. "Don't worry about it, Sakura-chan! Everything's going to get better, just you wait; I talked to the old perv--err--I mean the principal," he hastily corrected, the last time he had called the principal an old pervert around Sakura still fresh in his mind. Unconsciously, Naruto winced and his hand moved to rest on his head protectively before he continued talking. "And he said that we could probably get someone to home-school us if you're alright with that. The principal said he could arrange it for us and everything."

The girl's distress lifted immensely. "Really, Naruto? Are you serious?"

"Yeah!" he replied with a bright smile. "I'm really glad you're feeling better now, Sakura-chan."

Sakura laughed lightly and a kind smile lit her face. "Thanks for cheering me up, idiot."

"Hey!" She giggled at his indignant shout, and from his smiling face she knew he understood that she was only joking. "It does suck that we got kicked out, though. I mean, it was our only class together. Well at least I get to be home-schooled with you, ne, Sakura-chan? Oh man, you… me... a teacher too, but mostly you and me . . ." slowly Uzumaki Naruto drifted off into a dream-like state.

This was probably why he didn't notice the suddenly pale face of Sakura and did not immediately try to help her. "What do you mean, "you, me and a teacher"?"

The blond blinked as he came out of his trance and told her, "The perv--the _principal_ said that the school would only pay for a private science teacher if we were taught together because separately it'd be too expensive. He also said you would be able to "constrain" me, what ever _that_ means," he grumbled, trying to figure out the meaning of the big word Jiraiya, the principal and his current guardian, had used.

'I bet it's an insult! Stupid old pervert, talking to me with stupid big words just because he knows English isn't my strong suit. Thinks he's sooo smart, ha! I'll show him, I'm not as dense as I look. Hehehe, I'll just ask Sakura-chan what it means!'

Determined, he turned around to look his crush straight in the eye. "Hey, hey, Sakura-chan, do you know . . . w-what . . . um, Sa-Sakura-chan, ah, are you okay? Why are you shaking? Are you upset again? I know you really wanted to get back into science class but look at the bright side: we get to be taught _privately_, just the _two_ of us, _together_, for an _**entire year**_."

Haruno Sakura looked up at the blond who was gently rubbing circles on her back. His caring smile and simple gestures of affection were always what she needed when she was feeling down and, (though she'd never admit it to herself,) the thought of spending an entire year being privately taught with him may not have seemed as bad to her as when she had first met him, but now it made familiar emotions bubble up inside of her once more.

_"Ahh, Sakura-chan, don't start crying again!"_

* * *

E.N.D

**A/N:** So after putting off editing this thing for two years, I finally got it done and am posting it. One of my more... light-hearted, early works of Naruto fanfiction. I hope you all liked it.

Remember the three R's: Read, Ravish, and Review

---

**Next:** _"Only Fantastic"_


	5. Only Fantastic

**Title:** Only Fantastic?  
**Author:** Isiri  
**Rating:** K  
**Summary:** Ah, the fun of a simple retrieval mission. Neiji, Tenten.  
**A/N:** 'Cause couldn't you so see it happen? xp

**Disclaimer:** Naruto and all related characters and logos belong to Kishimoto-sensei

* * *

OnlyFantastic?

* * *

They were bleeding, loosing their grip, and dangling off the edge of a cliff with all chakra resources exhausted.

If they fell they both knew there was no way they'd survive.

Tenten gave Neiji a sour look. "Well, this is fantastic."

Neiji snorted as his fingers slipped another inch. "Only fantastic?"

* * *

END

* * *

**A/N:** Inspired by some commercial on T.V. I saw. 

On a personal note, I'm going on a temporary hiatus. Saturday night, my step-father, Ron, died in a motorcycle accident and the funeral is on Friday and I need some time to heal. It would mean a lot to me if those of you who read this authors note would keep Ron in your prayers. Thank you.

Till next time.

---

**Next:**_"__Irreversible__"_


End file.
